I am thinking about you and my heart is full of a deep wish for you, for 2024.
I wish for you to be joyously happy.
There are actual steps you can take to become the person you want to be, to be more of what you want to be, to succeed at being effective in the realms you wish to be effective in.
I believe the first step is self compassion. I will go into detail below.
You are a precious thing, a glorious gift, a mighty miracle of life on this sweet earth. We need you! We need our fellow humans to be the best themself they can be, Your unique self is here for a reason. And your reason is pursuing that which gets you energized, going for a dream goal. Just being on that path is purpose enough!
I hope I meet you in person this next year. As soon as I get my new hip, I’ll be traveling with my dearest soulmate and husband, Glenn. We will post about our travel plans as soon as we know them, hopeful in January.
I love talking about personal development, purpose, joy, motivation and energy. I hope to have these conversations with you.
Happy Holiday season, and a truly joy filled new year to you!
Your Morning Motivation
This section will be a thought to help you set yourself up for a more purposeful day. It can be a very simple thing to add a bit of focused intention to your day.
How to use this section:
- Pick one thing to focus on today. I’ll make a suggestion below, but it can be whatever is right for you.
- Write it down somewhere you’ll see it several times a day. Bonus if you add in why you chose it and how it will make a change in your day/life.
- Set a timer on your phone, 4x today to look at your intention.
- At the end of the day write down how it went, what did you notice, and what you might want to try tomorrow.
Today’s Morning Motivation:
Today I am aware of being compassionate to myself and am open to learning new ways to deepen my understanding of what that compassion actually means, and how to apply it to myself.
Thought for the month
One of the best ways to make significant progress in changing your life is self compassion.
⭐ Building self compassion creates a space around you, a sphere around you that protects your time and energy in a way like no other.
⭐ When you are compassionate to yourself, you build respect for your dreams, your resources, your ideas and hopes. You can create what you want to create.
⭐ Having that compassion gives you altitude from which to see yourself and make decisions, choose paths, based on what’s best for you and those you care about.
⭐ Not to mention when you have compassion for yourself you can truly have compassion for others.
⭐ Compassion helps you when you need to ask where do I need to make some adjustments? Where am I not living into my values? Why? How can I help myself grow today?
Self esteem is often confused with self compassion. But I see self esteem as still being based on the outside. On achievement, or an outside standard. It’s based on outcome.
Self worth is knowing you are a being of value just by being born. You don’t need to do anything to earn worth. But you can take it from there and continue to grow! In fact, you really must.
If humans aren’t growing, we don’t just stay the same or stagnate. Studies show we actually atrophy and shrink.
I want you to really think about yourself and your growth this year. We need you.
Doing any kind of personal development work leads to self awareness. This is the step to the transformation of you and your life.
How have you felt about yourself this year? How have you challenged yourself, grown yourself, and has this been sufficient for your desired quality of life?
This is very exciting work! We get to use our brain, our body, our energies towards having the experience we want instead of being blown around by the fickle winds of happenstance that is chaos in the world.
When we experience what’s possible, then we have the motivation to keep going. I really want that for you.
This work takes dedication and discipline. It takes doing things even when we don’t feel like it. But you have done that already, many times before! Imagine that this time you can see a difference in progress towards your goals, whatever they may be!
How would it feel to look back at the end of 2024 and be thrilled by what you have grown, accomplished, changed, achieved? How marvelous!
Self compassion is so important because until we raise the bar there, we bring our experience back down to a level we are used to. No matter how much we make, how happy we are in our relationships, if our self compassion hasn’t grown throughout the years, then we will not be able to have the level of success, joy, love that you really desire. You will always bring that bar back down to what you are used to.
Action steps to raising your levels:
- Practice feeling into what your goal is. Imagine it. Imagine being so deeply happy, successful, joy-filled, in love… whatever it is. Stretch into how you want to feel. If we don’t practice it, how will we know how to do it? How will you know what it is when you get there?
- Make a Magical Living Vision Board and really use it!
- Meditate with the intention of increasing your compassion to yourself and others.
- Measure your progress. Ask yourself “Am I getting better at_________?” (fill in the blank)
- Incorporate the achievement by giving yourself a High 5 in the mirror. Log it. Include it on your gratitude list.
- If you feel you need improvement, brainstorm on how you can improve. Do you need to learn a skill? Ask for help? Create some action steps to take.
If you feel like you ARE getting better at being kind, less judgmental, more disciplined, more effective at communicating, happier, connecting with people you care about, more successful at your chosen occupation…. your self efficacy goes up. You feel better about life.
If you haven’t incorporated those personal evaluations into your self concept however, you’ll still feel “meh” at best about yourself. And discouragement sets in.
Studies have shown that people who haven’t measured themselves and haven’t celebrated their wins in life have the same self esteem or even less that when they were in their early 20’s.
WOW.
Think about that for yourself for a moment.
I have had that realization, that my self esteem and lack of self worth is directly related to my inability to see my achievements. I constantly measured myself against ridiculously high standards instead of seeing if I was getting better month after month, year after year.
Measure yourself, instead of comparing yourself.
There’s a massive difference between having big dream goals, and taking the next right action step towards them, AND only measuring yourself against the goal and refusing to give yourself credit for any progress because you haven’t gotten the results you wanted, yet.
If you don’t incorporate your win, you cannot build confidence, generate motivation, and feel happy effectively.
I think this is really good news because making effective change is not complicated! It’s very do-able.
The first mental trap is that because it is so simple, we may think it can’t possibly be effective enough.
I believe that is the biggest hurdle in personal development.
That defeatism, that cynicism, is exactly what the Fear Dragon™ (what I call the amygdala) wants you to believe. That way, you’ll not change anything, you’ll stay in the Cave of Complacency™, safe and cynical. You’ll believe this is the best way for you to be. You’ll create all sorts of arguments against any sort of other possibilities. And your self efficacy becomes self defeat.
You can out-maneuver the Fear Dragon by becoming aware of its tricks and tactics. Bring self compassion into it by knowing that it’s not you being not good enough, it’s just what the brain does. It is only trying to protect you. So staying kind and curious, note when you go into a mode of staying in the Cave, being more cynical or defeatist, of thinking you’re not good enough, smart enough, successful enough, lucky enough, whatever it is for you on any given day.
Acknowledge “Ah! There’s a Face of Fear™ coming from my Fear Dragon.”
Write about it in your log book. It’s one of the best ways to start to dissolve the Face of Fear and see it for what it is. It loses effectiveness on you as you keep unmasking it.
Don’t judge it. Stay kind and curious and ask “When did I first feel this feeling?”
Ask “Who said that to me?” or “Who first made me believe this?”
Maybe an adult was going through self doubt or modeled unworthiness. Maybe you lived in a home with an addict and never felt safe.
Just write it out. See it for what it is, best you can. There’s an alchemical thing that happens when you write, it’s pretty amazing and hard to describe. Try it for yourself. Try to journal every day for a month, just even for 5 minutes. See what happens!
When your self compassion is raised, you’ll make better choices for yourself. You’ll prioritize your well-being, health and peace of mind. Then you’ll see what a powerful force you become, being authentically and joyfully compassionate to yourself, and others. You’ll change the world.
And the world needs you.
Happy Holidays!
Love,
Patricia
Journal Prompt
(Each month I will give you a thought to fire up your mind. Use journaling prompts over and over again and see how the result changes.)
Try setting out a logbook near your coffee pot or on the desk or nightstand, and every day write down something you noticed that caught your imagination. Maybe some decorations at work had you thinking of holidays past. What can you notice that gives you appreciation? When did you find yourself being fully present?
Ask yourself “Where do I want to grow this year? What would help me to Level Up, to make the changes I desire?” Notice the quiet voice that will answer you during the days and nights. The little nudges and thoughts. Write them down as they occur to you. No matter how small. This gives your RAS clear instructions to help you have more thoughts and ideas.
See if you can also create some action steps towards your ideas.
Our Quest Travel Adventures – Petra Part 2
You know a trip was good if you feel even better about it later.
We loved Petra, but I was also recovering a bit from Egypt. We had just gotten off a week on a live aboard dive boat on the Red Sea.
THAT was amazing, and I am danged proud of us being the elders on the boat, doing 15-16 dives in the 7 days at sea.
Pretty incredible.
We had 2 nights in Hurghada after that because you shouldn’t fly 24 hours after being at depth, plus I thought we might need the rest.
We flew Hurghada to Cairo, then to Amman, Jordan. We were picked up in Amman and had the 3 hour drive to Petra, which I described in the October article.
I say all this because sometimes travel is a bit grueling. I try to be cognizant of the need to rest up in between travel days. But we were just so excited about being in Petra that we pushed it hard for the few days we had there.
Glenn and I keep reflecting on our time in Egypt and Jordan, because it was so different, and it was challenging to do what we wanted to do, but also because of how well everything worked out.
I highly recommend going in March and April. It is HOT in the Middle East, and spring is much more doable. Plus the crowds are less. We ended up being there during Ramadan, which we hadn’t planned at all but we found a great relief, because the smokers are not smoking during the day. And everyone smokes in the Middle East. We suffered in Turkey. The Turks are famous for how much they smoke.
But we didn’t know that Ramadan was starting just as we arrived, and it ended just as we left Jordan. So I really felt like we were lucky. We never had to wait to eat in a restaurant because the locals were fasting during the day. They broke their fast after the muezzin called evening prayers. Then they really had a lovely big meal with friends and family. They also had breakfast at about 4 am, after morning prayer, if they wanted to.
On the dive boat, we had an early coffee before the first dive of the day. The breakfast came after we came back and showered. But I’d hear the crew having breakfast before the sun was up through the hull of the boat!
They worked hard so I was glad they could at least have something to eat, even if it was really early.
Back to Petra, the locals were still fasting. Ramadan lasts a month.
Our camp was about 20 minutes away from the entrance to Petra.
From Wiki:
“Petra is also called the “Rose City” because of the color of the stone from which it is carved.
It is adjacent to the mountain of Jabal Al-Madbah, in a basin surrounded by mountains forming the eastern flank of the Arabah valley running from the Dead Sea to the Gulf of Aqaba. Access to the city is through a famously picturesque 1.2-kilometre-long (3⁄4 mi) gorge called the Siq, which leads directly to the Khazneh.
The area around Petra has been inhabited from as early as 7000 BC, and the Nabataeans might have settled in what would become the capital city of their kingdom as early as the 4th century BC.”
We were really thrilled to see Petra in the daylight! I was wondering how my hip would hold up. It has been a problem for years but had gotten really bad this year. Soon I’d need a replacement, but we were here now!
The first part was The Siq. Just spectacular in the daylight! They did have golf carts zipping back and forth through the Siq. If I had to, we could wait in the line and get one. But I knew Glenn wanted to walk this ancient route. And I had made it the previous night!
I’ve seen pictures of crowds of people jammed into the Siq and I am so grateful that wasn’t our experience.
We had horses going by on a wide trail on the side of the main path and they don’t go into the Siq. It was too narrow for people, golf carts and horses.
We found out later there’s a whole other route that is adjacent to the Siq that you could ride camels along. I wasn’t sure if I could ride with my hip so bad. I may have attempted it though if we had known about it.
Once again, we just hung out in the open space in front of the Treasury, Al-Khazneh. Glenn hopped around taking photos and I made lots of camel friends.
There’s just something about being in a place like that with camels all around, as they have been for thousands of years, that is the epitome of adventure to me.
Finally we continued up the main road, on foot, to explore deeper into Petra now going where we hadn’t the night before. On both sides of the path are tombs cut into the pink stone. Some is known about the owner who commissioned the tomb, the knowledge of others are lost to time.
You can explore pretty freely. Unlike the USA where it would be strictly controlled, in Petra, you could climb pretty much anywhere, at your own risk. You cannot hold anyone accountable for your own accidents in other countries.
Inside some of the caves were donkeys or a horse taking a break in the shade. The animals we saw in Petra often were unaccompanied. They didn’t seem to stray too far. Bedouins had the right to be the only businesses in Petra.
They seemed to know their animals would stick around or maybe they had a shepherding system no one else is aware of! Young men and boys worked with the horses, donkeys and camels giving tourists a ride or a photo op. All negotiated for a price, of course.
I was content to take pictures and give a pet to a few of them. They all seemed pretty gentle or blasé about the whole thing. None seemed abused. Although no one was plump, people or animals, they all seemed to have enough.
There were a few baby donkeys that either roamed by their mom or were indulged by the shopkeepers. One little guy had chewed the back off a bench. Maybe he was teething. People gave him fruit, which he loved.
Glenn and I had stopped at that stand to get a drink of something. In general, we found the folks who worked in the Petra area very kind and friendly. Maybe they were faking it, but I don’t think so. Tourists have been coming to Petra for generations, and we (and our money) seem very welcome.
Fair enough!
I love souvenirs like fabrics, and will browse happily for hours. But in the Middle East, shopping and selling is very different. It’s energetic, and transactional. You must engage and have a lot of attitude. I never did figure out how to effectively shop. It was too intimidating. I can say that nothing is made in Jordan. It’s all junk from India. Don’t bother! Photos are your best souvenir. Spend your money on experiences. Get on a camel!
I also buy postcards because the images are often taken at the very best time of day with fewer people in the way. I also happen to love vintage travel images and kitschy, funny ones! I keep them in a box on my coffee table and flick through them sometimes. Also, it’s very fun to share with friends and family when they come over and the talk turns to travel.
Our travel through Petra was a highlight of 2023 for us, in a year full of amazing travel. If you have a chance to go, do it!
Happy Trails!
Member result of the month – Testimonial
This month we’re spotlighting Kaisi from the US for her progress in my Magical Living personal growth program! Kaisi was able to make some massive changes in her creative life and career. Here’s what she had to say about it:
““[The program] was a completely transformative experience for me. I came into the program kind of in a rut. I had been feeling stuck in my career. I felt stuck creatively. I was generally just kind of down. After participating in the program I ultimately had a massive change. I looked at some resentments. I made some apologies. I really thought about the changes I wanted to make in my life and everything changed from there.
Instead of waking up each day feeling kind of stuck, I started making steps to be able to make the changes I needed. Within a few months of joining the program, I had found a new apartment. I was able to have a space I enjoyed. I was able to get un-stuck creatively. I was able to write so many cool new things and really improve the quality of my work.
Speaking of work, I also felt I had a massive career boost through participating in this community. I had been feeling stuck in my career, and honestly it’s a career I had just fallen into. It wasn’t something I had chose. But since participating in the community, I was able to really take control of what direction I wanted to go in. I was able to discover the path that I wanted to take and then work with my employer to move into that department.
Within a year of being in the program, I was able to make that career move that I had so desperately needed. Now, I get to do some pretty big things for a company I absolutely love. I’m so grateful to be able to have been a part of this community and have these life-changing experiences.”
Stay in touch!
Keep in touch with me on social media by clicking the icons below to view my Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Youtube. There’s lots going on, so make sure to follow/subscribe and say hi!
Follow my Quest Retreats accounts for travel updates and more!
Morning and Evening Routines
How would you like to maximize your day, week, YEAR? Would you love to feel more joy in the day? How about having the ability to appreciate all the good things you have? And make some REAL progress towards the things that are important to you?
Learn a few simple behaviors to do each morning that can shift your personal development into personal POWER!
Join me and follow along as I walk you through a simple, and powerful, morning routine, for 5 days.
✏️ You can rewatch for as long as you need the company and motivation.
✏️ Each of these simple activities are all backed by brain science to improve our results, daily!
You’ll receive:
☀️ Prep video to get you all set up, and know what to expect.
☀️ 5 more videos, actually doing a morning routine with variations.
☀️ eBook of 15 pages with the science-backed elements of a great morning routine explained and expanded upon.
☀️ Daily emails for encouragement and fun.
Bonuses!
☀️ Invitation to join the Magical Living Community for free to have access to Patricia, ask questions, and have support!
☀️ Supporting materials for handy reference to jump start your progress.
All for $47!
“The acceptance and positive approach of Patricia meant I could without judgment or shame just face me and my issues and be open and honest and deal with them.”
-J. S, UK
“I took one of Pat’s classes when I turned 42 and that was a big help for me… It was a good investment for me and a big step in my self improvement journey.”
-S.T., USA
“[Pat has] helped me get myself moving on my writing and to look at the underlying causes of my paralysis. The meditations have really been a help in relaxing and reflection.”
-F. H., USA
☀️ Learn more about the 5 Day Morning & Evening Routines Challenge Here!
Magical Living Vision Board Workshop
The Practical Practices with Patricia programs are helpful 🪄 personal development tools and practices 🪄for busy people!
⭐ They are a series of short workshops that are designed to be easily and quickly adapted into your lifestyle.
This vision board workshop helps you to set the goals to get you to your desires, and helps you to work out the 2 or 3 most important goals to prioritize for the next couple of months.
It grows along WITH you and your life!
You can see your progress, and be reminded DAILY of your dreams, and those steps you can take. You work with it to chart your course.
Old school vision boards are nice but they don’t have the MAGIC this one does, because we use refined brain science!
The Magical Living Vision Board Workshop includes:
⭐ The 90 minute workshop
⭐ 15-page eBook with how to effectively accomplish your goals and
how to unleash the magic of your Magical Living Vision Board (It’s all brain science, it just feels like magic!)
⭐ The Framework for the board
⭐ How to Create Affirmations PDF
⭐ How to Create Meaningful Goals PDF
⭐ Printables for your board
⭐ The Observation Deck level in the Magical Living Community
Pull out your logbook and start taking some notes as you watch and the ideas flow.
This is a powerful tool using brain science to fast track your progress to those dream goals and Make It So!
⭐ You can get all this for just $27 here!
Be A Santa – Babylon 5 Commentary offer
Receive a brand new Babylon 5 commentary by Donating to Be A Santa!
Want to learn How to Tame Your Fear Dragon?
Patricia Tallman and B5 expert Jason Davis have joined forces to create a new commentary on a Babylon 5 episode, which will only be available to those who donate to Be A Santa for the Penny Lane kids!
Be A Santa is a holiday program for the foster kids at Penny Lane Centers. Patricia founded this program in 1995 with the support from the sci-fi and horror communities, and they have been creating a happier, meaningful holiday for the kids ever since.
How to receive your commentary.
Go to https://www.beasanta.org/monetary-donation/ and donate $10 or more via the handy form on the page
Or
Mail in a check or items to the address given below, and email us to let us know about it so we can include you in the bonus commentary! helpelf@questretreats.com
Checks and Items
Checks should be made out to Penny Lane and please put Be A Santa in the memo so the funds are credited to our program.
Send to:
Penny Lane – Be A Santa c/o Nydia Barakat
Director of Fund Development
10526 Dubnoff Way North Hollywood, CA 91606
Please email us and let us know you sent in a donation, so we can send you the commentary and thank you! pat@questretreats.com
If you use a different email to donate than you wish us to email the commentary, please let us know via helpelf@questretreats.com
Direct donation link https://www.beasanta.org/monetary-donation/
Other ways to help and donation info at bottom of page https://www.beasanta.org/how-to-help/
About Penny Lane https://www.beasanta.org/about/
Details:
Episode TBD
Delivery of your commentary will be a link, emailed to you when Patricia and Jason have shot and completed the commentary. By the end of Dec.
This does NOT include the episode! This will be of Patricia and Jason with the episode playing offscreen for legal reasons. We will have a sync signal for you to use with your own version of the episode.
Who is Patricia Tallman?
You can learn more about me here!
Get Updates Every Month
Thank you for reading! If you would like these updates delivered straight to your email inbox every month, you can subscribe to the monthly magazine here.
Love,
Patricia, founder of Magical Living
Recent Comments