by Patricia Tallman
I just wanted to crawl into a hole.
If he said one more thing I was going to snap.
Why can’t my son just do the one thing I asked him?
I feel like such a bitch.
Everything is so freaking hard.
I realized I was back in that scary miserable place of bleakness. Everything else was to blame. Nothing would go right. I saw no way out. Has this ever happened to you? I can fall into this pit without warning. What triggers it? On the surface, nothing was different. But somehow, I slid into a dark sad place of gloom and doom. Shit. Now what?
How do we stop the downward spiral and pull ourselves out of the Pit of Despair?
I was in a meeting, and a woman shared she had found herself unable to see anything positive about a work situation. She was scared about her health, and she had a myriad of responsibilities coming up. Knowing she could quickly become negative, self sabotaging and depressed, she started to beef up her practice of gratitude.
The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.
But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time. But it’s not hard at all to bring the practice into focus and it takes just a few minutes a day.
Practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing. Noticing what is going right, what we did well, is just as important as marking where we need to make improvements. “Where are you steering your boat? Where are you looking?”
Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope. It’s a choice.
There are many things to be grateful for: another day, colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies, another chance. What’s on your list?
7 Steps to Practice Gratitude
1) Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. Make a point of listing something new each time. Do this for one week, then write about how you feel, noticing any changes.
2) Put up photos or cut out pictures that make you feel gratitude. An event you had a wonderful time, a friend who you know cares, a child happy and healthy, a beloved pet.
3) Practice gratitude around the dinner table, or before you eat any meal.
4) When you wake up, give thanks for a new day, a new chance to make a positive impact.
5) Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.
6) When you catch yourself complaining, find something to be grateful for instead. Changing your focus from what is wrong to what is right helps you to give support to yourself. It’s amazing how empowering this simple step is.
7) Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, express thanks for gratitude!
There are many ways to practice gratitude and as you focus on it I know you will find ways that are unique to you. Being of service to others is also a very powerful way of pulling ourselves out of any self sabotaging behaviors. As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling.
That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work!
What are some ways you practice Gratitude? Please share them here. I’d love to know!
#loveyoumeanit
Author’s content used with permission, ©QuestRetreatsPatriciaTallman
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